Now when I was a young woman, I had a good Irish temper. I could go at it pretty good in certain circumstances. But that has mellowed considerably over the years. The person I probably argued with the most was my husband—surprise, surprise. It’s usually the person you love who can push your buttons. And, of course, my daughter and I had a very stormy several years. [Thank God they’re over!!!]
Then I got Fibromyalgia—and I noticed how much stress triggered flare-ups. So, I learned to let things roll off my back. [Therapy when my daughter was 16 and pregnant helped.] Let’s face it, most stuff really isn’t worth freaking out about. You go all ballistic, ruin your day—and everyone’s around you—but what does it really accomplish. And now, I’ve gone through so much crap in my life that I just don’t have the wherewithal to argue. And that may be causing problems of a different sort…
I committed to directing this current play last January—and a lot has gone down since then. The main one being my knee injury. I thought I’d be in better physical shape by now and wouldn’t be so hampered when it comes to doing stuff for the set. I was wrong. It’s frustrating me, but I’m trying to let it go. I’m also trying to let certain other pressures not get to me. And it’s not easy….
I am a classic middle child [Marcia, Marcia, Marcia]—I always try to make everyone else happy, I try to keep the peace…
The theatre group I work with—like most arts organizations right now—is in a real money crunch. Unlike many arts organizations, we do not get grants or government funding. We rely solely on ticket sales. So, the powers-that-be tried some extra programming over the holiday season to generate additional revenue. It was fairly successful, which I’m happy about. But it really limited what I could do on the technical end of things. This is where my middle-childness comes in. I’ve just sucked it up and tried to keep focused. And as a result, I think I got taken advantage of. And I’m not happy about that.
I have to learn how to be more assertive—that’s one of the many things I admire about my daughter. She doesn’t take any crap from anybody; all 5’2’’/105 lbs. of her will stand toe-to-toe with anyone. I have no idea where this came from, but damn I admire her for it.
Guess I was taking that whole “the meek shall inherit the earth” thing too literally.