Wednesday, January 20, 2010

“They do not love that do not show their love. “

When are you obligated to say “I Love You” back…..

That’s been the debate here at work all morning. And since the people I work with are hilariously certifiable, it’s been a hoot. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode [pretty much everything can be related to Seinfeld—or Friends]: George decides to tell a woman he is seeing that he loves her and Jerry wants to know if he’s guaranteed the “I love you” return. “That’s a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there Georgie.”

One co-worker feels you MUST say it back if a family member says it to you, you SHOULD say it back to your close friends; BUT don’t say it to a significant other unless you really mean it. We felt she needed to produce a flow chart for us so we could be clear and not commit a faux paux. I asked about “friends with benefits—does it boil down to whether or not there has been nudity involved?” She wasn’t amused.

It’s pretty hard to say those words in the context of a relationship isn’t it? The ultimate vulnerability—even more so than getting naked with someone the first time, I think. We compose poetry or songs, we give mushy cards, we buy flowers--all ways of saying it. Or of avoiding the actual words. "It doesn't count til I say the words." Making the big commitment, taking that final leap, is a big deal. What if they don’t say it back! How sucky would that be?

And then you have the whole “I don’t want to be the one who says it first” thing. It’s very confusing—we throw the word around a lot, but in the relationships where it really counts, we often forget to say it.

So to all of my family and friends—especially the ones who have seen me naked—I love you!


  1. Love you too for taking the time to write your fabulous blog!!
    I must admit because I grew up never being told that I was loved I say it ALL THE TIME. I would hate to think that someone I loved didn't know that I loved them. I always end phone calls to my kids by telling them that I love them and am proud of who they are. I tell my darling every day and my friends when ever I see them. Love is what makes the world the special place it is and we need to let it out people! xxx

  2. I say it all the time too! Good friends and family...I want them to know how I feel and how much I appreciate them in my life. They fill my heart with so much joy...I just have to say, "I love you"!!!