Thursday, July 22, 2010

Words, Words, Words.—Hamlet to Polonius

Oh, I HAD to comment on this…..

I’m sure you guys all saw the news story about quitter governor of Alaska comparing herself to the Bard after she made up a word: “refudiate.” First she used it in a Tweet about the mosque at Ground Zero controversy and then she repeated it in a Tea Party speech a day or two later. She capped this all off with the Tweet wherein she placed herself on a linguistic level with Shakespeare.

Seriously, Sarah? You actually have the cahones to compare yourself to the greatest writer of all times? Oh, I don’t think so….

Well, today I saw an article online about how the Twitter-verse is having a field day creating a whole raft of Bard parodies ala Sarah-style and have dubbed it “ShakesPalin.”

Here are some of the best:

- "To be hope-y and change-y, or not to be hope-y and change-y, that is the gotcha question."
- "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and I can see Russia from my front porch."
- "If we drillers have offended, think but this & all is mended; that you have but slumbered here, while BP oiled your Gulf so dear."
- "Alas, poor Couric, I read them all."
- "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you investigate us, do we not quit?"
-“But soft, what light from yonder window breaks? It is the East, and I can see Russia from my front porch.”
- “A book deal, a book deal! My governorship for a book deal!”
-“What’s in a name? That which we call a pitbull by any other lipstick would be a hockey mom.”
-“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some are just picked by John McCain's aides.”
-“Friends, Real Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to play "gotcha" journalism.”
-“To suffer the slings and arrows of / outrageous liberals, or to quit half term, / and by opposing, rake in speaking fees”

and—my favorite:

-“Out, damned thought!”

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

As indifferent as children of the earth.—Hamlet, Act II [Rosencrantz]

Is it me or has anyone else noticed that people in the 18—25 age range are tending towards this “bored with the whole world” thing lately?      I’ve met many whose whole demeanor gives off an “I’m just so over it” attitude towards everything.      It manifests in how they move, how they talk, everything.     Are the rest of us really that tedious to you? At that age, what do you have to be so jaded about?     If I remember correctly, my age group was on fire to change the world.     This bunch doesn’t seem to give a shit.

What has happened that has caused such apathy?     Cause it scares the hell out of me—these are the people that will be running things when I’m in my dotage.     Why don’t they seem to be invested in world affairs?      Is it having grown up witnessing presidential sex scandals, the advent of reality TV—and all of the fame whores associated with it; or was it the rampant corruption in corporate America?       Was it athletes “doping” or someone basically stealing the Oval Office?     The economy?      The implosion of our educational system? What??

Granted, there are exceptions out there.      And I have met a few of them.      There are kids who are doing things to help their fellow man.       And it is always exciting to me when I come in contact with someone under the age of 30 who genuinely seems to be aware of the world around them [for all of the instant access we have nowadays, some are suprisingly clueless].        It gives me hope.

I just wish I knew how to light a fire under the rest of the bunch’s asses.

                                                                         ◊ ◊ ◊

Keeping with the “dotage” theme:

It has been interesting living with my mother for the past 3 weeks.     Having not been around her on a day-to-day basis, I still had a mental image of her as a 57 year old [God—the age I am now!].      But she is definitely 87.      Granted a very awesome 87, but I definitely see an “old lady” at times.      She has her routine that she likes to follow and I am trying to adapt to that—I figure she’s earned the right to have things her way.     She’s fiercely independent and will try to do things she really shouldn’t, so I am seeking ways to diplomatically circumvent that.      Any suggestions?       Her hearing is bad, so we wind up with the TV blasting at warp volume a lot.       I found this earpiece thingy at the store though that she was amenable to wearing—it looks like a “Blue Tooth” attachment—very cool.

Throughout all of the chaos of the past 6 months (the brother drama and moving twice), she has maintained her wonderfully skewed sense of humor.       One of the things she schlepped across the country was a 12-pack of paper towels she'd gotten on sale late last year and hated to leave behind.      As we found a place for the package in the new digs, Mom looks at me and says: “Now it’s a wait and see who runs out first, me or the towels.”

I love my mommy.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

"My horse, my horse; my kingdom for a horse."--Part Trois

Spoke too soon on the whole car thing.....

So,  I'm doing some errands after work last Tuesday and I pull out of a CVS in Newtown Square onto a very busy 4 lane road... and I suddenly can't get my car to go into gear.    I can move the gearshift around in the neutral position, but I cannot for the life of me get it into any of the five gears.   Nada. Zip.  Bumpkis.    And did I mention it was rush hour?   (I would have settled for reverse).

Some guys came along and got me over to the shoulder of the road ( guys live for that kind of stuff don't you think?   Let me show I'm a guy)and I started calling my road service.    While I'm waiting for them, an off-duty cop came along and futzed around under the hood, tested the clutch and somehow managed to get it into first gear.    I drove it all the way to the mechanics that way.    I kept apologizing to the engine as it was straining to be giving another gear.    I felt like it was screaming at me "Shift you idiot, shift!"     "I know. I know.  I'm sorry."

Upshot is it may be time to get another car...   The mechanic isn't sure if it the clutch synchronizers or what--but that probably means a new transmission--at about $1,000.00 or so.   I don't know if the car is even worth that much anymore.

But I also know I don't know how I can afford a car payment......

Pray I hit the Powerball this week.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. –Henry the 6th, Part II

Okay—so I’m getting this in pieces….

Remember awhile back I mentioned passing a guy on the street corner with a handmade sign…..

Well, he’s back. Now the sign reads: LAWYER ALTERS COURT ORDER.

It’s kinda like reading a Dickens’ novel back in his day—when the stories were serialized in newspapers and periodicals. You’d be left hanging for weeks waiting to see what happened to the hero.

I can’t wait to see what the next sign says—this will be my entertainment for the summer I guess. [is that pathetic?]

Oh—and one of the things that was percolating in my life was an audition. Well, I got the part. I’m gonna play the mother in a production of David Lindsay Abaire’s RABBIT HOLE. I think my knee is in better shape these days—as is my car—so I might actually be able to pull this thing off. It’ll be the first acting I’ve done in about 2 years.

And speaking of the knee… I managed to get thru this whole move thing in spite of the limitations, but it was a challenge at times. My lawsuit is pending—the landlords self-insure AND self-represent, so they stall FOREVER hoping folks will give up in frustration. Not happenin’ Sparky. [ “He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” ]

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Allow not nature more than nature needs

Okay—things are finally settling down a bit, so I thought I’d take some time to post. It’s been almost a month since last you’ve heard from me…..

Well, the big move went off fairly well—and didn’t cost me an arm and a leg. But, my god, I still have way too much stuff. Now, I’m not talking call the folks from that show “Hoarders” bad. And Niecy Nash and the “Clean House” folks don’t really need to come over either…..

But I had no idea I had so much stuff in my little one-bedroom apartment.

So, we have a couple of Good will boxes going right now—and more stuff is finding its way to the dumpster. [I filled up one all on my own on that last full day at my old place—the old neighbors are gonna love me.] Mom and I are trying to compromise—a combination of her stuff and mine. It boils down to WHAT DO YOU REALLY NEED. And I’m learning it’s a lot less than I thought. [hence the title of the post]

♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥

There are lots of other things going on in my life of course. The grandkid is home from college—but too busy to visit his “Mimi.” I’m hoping to catch up with him for our birthdays—mine on the 14th and his on the 19th. Plus, he’s moving into an apartment next year at school, so he may need some of this stuff we’ve put aside for Goodwill.

I managed to get a deal on a flat screen monitor as I was moving—so the old heavy one got tossed. My desk is so much roomier now. But I need to find a new filing cabinet for my papers…. Any leads on inexpensive ones???

The heat in the Philly area has been through the roof—I better have sweated off 10 pounds from all of this hauling and tossing. It was so miserably uncomfortable to work as the sweat poured down my face and neck. BUT—my mom doesn’t like A/C, so it’s been a bit of a battle: I leave the room, she turns it off. I come back and turn it on. She says she’s cold, so I try to suffer thru the hotness for awhile……

It’s an adjustment period.