I look in the mirror and a stranger is looking back at me......
In my head, I am still a vibrant, young-looking 35.... in reality, not so much. I try to be positive about these changes: my face has character, those are laugh lines... But it's hard. Like I said in a post a couple of months ago, I have lost control of my body. It--and my face--are doing things that I haven't approved. And never would have if they'd had the decency to consult me first.
But I really wouldn't want to be all botoxed within an inch of my life either. That's not real. And it's a shame that the unrealistic images of models and stars are held up as examples to the rest of us. If I had a personal trainer, a private chef and my own 24 hour make-up artist and hairstylist, I could look like that too. But I don't--I can't even afford a gym membership.
So I try to make the best of what I've got. Sometimes I succeed and other times... well, it's a little scary. My dream (well, one of them anyway) is to start a charity where those of us that have too much in certain areas donate some to those that don't have enough. Spread the wealth around, so to speak. Makes more sense than silicone.
In the meantime, I'll just try to wear my flaws proudly and pray people love me for my beautiful personality.
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It is hard when the mirror surprises you. Only this morning I tried to blame my husband for a photo he took of me that didn't 'look right'. Of course it looked right, it was me only the image looking back was not how I thought it should be. Somehow, I wake up in the morning and somebody's stolen my pert boobs and replaced them 2 inches lower. I think someone borrowed my bum last night because somehow the jeans I wore yesterday are now too tight! Oh, lifes a bitch and then . . no, not ready to do that yet!
ReplyDeletegood for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm 33, and it is starting. The skin is starting to thin. The bones are starting to lock up (I've had arthritis since I was a teenager, but this is different stuff) the muscles ache after very little exercise (I have fibromyalgia too, so I try to keep up with the exercise so I can sleep at night).
I stare at myself and wonder what I will look like in ten years, twenty.
Every morning I make myself a promise to let myself go naturally, and not get hung up on a wrinkle or a saggy part.
Thank you for this post.