pass by me as the idle wind

Oh dear God—I’m still laughing/crying over this one…

So, I’m packing and purging for our move in [holy crap!] 20 days. And sweating, cause once again we’ve skipped spring altogether and gone right into full hellacious humidity mode. I’ve got the TV on in the background [cause I’ve packed up all of my CDs] and a commercial comes on for this new product that will, apparently, solve all of your marriage problems.

Okay, you’ve got my attention. What is this marvel—and why wasn’t it around 10 years ago when I needed it?

Ready? It’s:

The Better Marriage Blanket

Seriously—a blanket to absorb farts.... For only $39.95 you can be on your way to total marital bliss.

The copy for the ad actually says it makes a great wedding or anniversary gift! I would just love to see a bride’s face if she gets that at her bridal shower.

Or the wife who gets one from hubby on their 10^th anniversary—cause you know some idiot guy is gonna buy one. He’ll think it’s hilariously funny—but let’s face it, he won’t need it cause he’s gonna be sleeping on the couch for the next few years.

Now—read this for a laugh-til-the-tears-roll-down-your-cheeks take on this thing.