Wednesday, March 3, 2010

“He jests at scars that never felt a wound.”

It was one year ago tonight that I slipped on the ice and did a whole shitload of damage to my left knee….

Not exactly an anniversary that I am enjoying marking. It has been a very frustrating, challenging, yet interesting year. A year filled with my first ride in an ambulance and my first visit to an emergency room in about a decade. A year of having laparoscopic surgery to repair the torn meniscus, the damaged ligaments on both sides of the knee and to remove the cartilage that was floating around in there. A year when for about 2 weeks I was unable to get in and out of the shower because my legs just was not capable of the movement required to do so—so I had to take what my Dad called “whore’s baths.” [When I was finally brave enough to climb into the tub and shower, I was petrified my wobbly knee would not hold me—I kept my cell phone within arm’s length. [ it’s scary living alone]

A year of not being able to drive for several weeks and having to “depend on the kindness of [not really] strangers” to get to and from work—and of being basically trapped in my apartment once I was dropped off because I couldn’t drive my stick-shift car anywhere. A year of excruciating physical therapy, of being in an uncomfortable brace 24-7 and hobbling around on a crutch for about 3 months. It was exhausting. I remember just completely losing steam one day as I hobbled from my car up into my apartment. I made it into the building and around the corner of the hallway. The elevator was another 50 feet or so away and I had to stop and lean against the wall—I just could not go another inch. I looked at the door to the apartment that was about a foot away from me and thought: “God, I wish I lived there.”

A year of having to spend $1,800.00 to repair a damaged clutch and gear-shift due to my hindered abilities while operating the clutch with my bad left leg. A year of attempting to walk to the other end of the borough on an important errand [because my car was having the above damage repaired and I was without it for close to a week.] and having to stop twice on the way there, sit in Mickey D’s for half an hour, and stop twice on the way home. It took me 3 times as long as it would have pre-injury, but I DID IT.

A year of probably gaining about 20 pounds because I couldn’t do any exercise. [and I really was starting to try and get into the habit of working out—I promise]

A year of a lot of other things too—I just can’t remember them all now. I’ve come up against many challenges—some of them I’ve handled well and others I’ve failed at miserably. I’ve had to make a lot of adjustments in my lifestyle—some I’ve done with grace, others of acted like a cranky baby about.

But, I have discovered that I am one tough old broad—and I think that’s a good thing.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Random tidbit: March is National “On Hold” Month.

And today is “If Pets Had Thumbs” Day

[if they did, they’d probably answer our calls and put everyone on hold…]


  1. Sounds like you made it through okay, I understand that feeling of not being able to take another step, can be very frustrating, sounds like you are on the mend, I wish you many days of health ahead.

  2. Sounds vile but the good news is you came out the other side. Woohoo!! Well done and keep your chin up ( never quite understood whta that means =)

  3. They say a human being can be tougher than steel Well, you 've proved that.Wish you the best of health, and nicer anniversaries in life!

  4. It's amazing what we can get through when we have no other choice. Bravo.

  5. Yes you made it but the scars remain. And they will too...they will remind you how you survived! How you were an overcomer!! And times like this also hurt our hearts...and I understand that pain all too well! It is scary to be alone...especially when faced with such trials. I applaud your courage of keeping on...moving forward...even if it was only a few inches at a time. You did it hon!! You should feel proud!!