Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Well the phone rang at about 11:30 on Friday night….. It was my daughter, crying. She had dropped my grandson off at college in W. VA that morning and was having a major separation anxiety attack.
How do you hug someone over the phone?

Apparently, he wasn’t doing much better—he’d already texted her three times and called once.
Again, how do you hug someone over the phone...

My daughter became a mom at 16; she moved out on her own at 25. So for almost 10 years it has been the two of them facing the world—growing up together in a sense. It will be huge adjustment for both of them. They are way more than mother and son; they are best friends too.
She said she didn’t want him to hear her crying. I told her that they’ve gotta acknowledge the “elephant in the room:” that both of them are going to have some adjusting to do. And that it’s okay to miss each other. It will get easier as the semester goes on. It's so hard to let go, to relinquish control. But it's your job as a parent to do just that. All you can do is hope that some of those lessons sunk in.

I remember the anxiety I felt when the two of them moved into their first apartment—and they were only 30 minutes away. I remember the guilt I felt when I got divorced and we had to sell the house my kids had grown up in—they wouldn’t have a “landing place” in case of emergencies. So I know exactly how she feels—sort of… My two weren't six hours away, but they weren't under my wing anymore either. As time went on, I was more and more impressed at how much they had heard--and learned [sometimes the hard way].

So, I'll continue to be there in the background for them. I'll be the one she can call late at night to cry to--and try to hug through the phone. It's my job. Of course, nowadays they have “Skype” on campus, so they can webchat. Gotta love technology.

1 comment:

  1. Sniff!!!

    (Did you get my email? I'm not sure I have a correct email addy for you.)