“They do not love that do not show their love. “

When are you obligated to say “I Love You” back…..

That’s been the debate here at work all morning. And since the people I work with are hilariously certifiable, it’s been a hoot. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode [pretty much everything can be related to Seinfeld—or Friends]: George decides to tell a woman he is seeing that he loves her and Jerry wants to know if he’s guaranteed the “I love you” return. “That’s a pretty big matzo ball hanging out there Georgie.”

One co-worker feels you MUST say it back if a family member says it to you, you SHOULD say it back to your close friends; BUT don’t say it to a significant other unless you really mean it. We felt she needed to produce a flow chart for us so we could be clear and not commit a faux paux. I asked about “friends with benefits—does it boil down to whether or not there has been nudity involved?” She wasn’t amused.

It’s pretty hard to say those words in the context of a relationship isn’t it? The ultimate vulnerability—even more so than getting naked with someone the first time, I think. We compose poetry or songs, we give mushy cards, we buy flowers--all ways of saying it. Or of avoiding the actual words. "It doesn't count til I say the words." Making the big commitment, taking that final leap, is a big deal. What if they don’t say it back! How sucky would that be?

And then you have the whole “I don’t want to be the one who says it first” thing. It’s very confusing—we throw the word around a lot, but in the relationships where it really counts, we often forget to say it.

So to all of my family and friends—especially the ones who have seen me naked—I love you!